I took my fourth ballet class today after being out of dance for probably close to 10 or 12 years. It has been such a joy, as well as source of embarrassment and humility. During class I find myself having mini epiphanies (“Oh I remember that step”) followed quickly by slightly sad but always humorous realities (“Oh man, my leg definitely is not going to do that”). I think back to my old dance days, like, “dang, I was pretty good!” And then I look at my current reality, smile and shake my head.

I am doing my best to not get super obsessed with perfection—which is a challenge for any classically trained dancer. I am reminding myself each moment that this is for me, for fun, for getting my brain to think, my body to exercise, and to enjoy the professional pianist at our teacher’s every beck and call. I try to have grace for my somewhat clumsy movements, limited extensions, and forgetting the steps almost every time. I remind myself that God is glorified in my movement, it can be worshipful, filled with thanksgiving, even if its kind of messy.

I think this is a lot like our walk with God.

God calls us out to join his class, his training. We show up hesitant. He hands us our garments of royal servants, shoes and all. We get dressed realizing nothing quite fits like we imagined, but trusting he knows what we need. Then he starts to teach us and show us how to live life. We see this perfectly in Christ, in the stories of when he came down to us. Then he strikes up the music and asks us to mimic, to do as he has done.

Looking around wondering if he is serious, we hesitate again. We ask for him to repeat the movements. We ask for clarification. He patiently explains and demonstrates. Then the music is cued, he watches and waits for us to begin.

Again hesitation.

But then, something stirs within us, some courage or inspiration or carefree joy. And we dance. We jump into serving others, loving the men and women around us. We dive into scripture. We lose ourselves in prayer and praise and worshipful songs of thanksgiving. It is as if we can close our eyes and just feel ourselves move and act as we know Jesus has demonstrated.

Then after a few minutes maybe, we take a peak in the mirror. Surprised by what we see, we stop.

There I am in my funny fitting garments, slightly clumsy still, not quite in tune or on beat. It is a bit embarrassing. After all I thought I was really doing some great stuff. I was thinking, “Boy God is impressed by this!” And I stand, kind of dumb founded, pondering in the mirror.

God stops the music and approaches me. I have forgotten he is there. Too much mirror gazing I guess. In his fatherly voice he reminds me to stop worrying about how I look or how to perfect his steps, he tells me he loves me as I am, that he sees something beautiful even when I do not, and he tells me to start again, to move and dance. His encouragement is like warm cocoa on a cold day, melting away insecurity.

God steps back, claps and the music begins again.

And I dance. We all dance. Not perfectly. Not without our hesitations and pauses and asking of questions. But he keeps leading us, showing us, teaching us and then giving us the music so we can go forth dancing for him.

The thing about dancing is that you cannot get better if you do not show up for class, listen to your teacher, practice the steps, observe other dancers better than yourself, and occasionally check your own reflection. There is no amount of natural talent that makes up for the teaching and practice that happens in class. Even the most praised professionals, prima ballerinas, take class every day.

I hope you can follow me here. Are you in class? Are you in the presence of teachers/pastors/mentors? Are you practicing the steps/spiritual disciplines? Are you asking for feedback/ being held accountable? Are you learning/ reading scripture? Are you challenging yourself/ getting out of your comfort zone? Are you sometimes just closing your eyes in reckless abandon and doing what God is telling you to do?

There is phrase, “Miss one class and you will notice. Miss two and your teachers will notice. Miss three classes and your audience will notice.” Simply put don’t miss class. Stay disciplined. Trust your Teacher and join the dance.